2 posts tagged “hair”
normally, i have great disdain for the fauxhawk (my youth taught me that if you want a mohawk, you have to commit to it). but the elder boy got a too-short haircut (validating my dislike of supercuts) that, thanks to the length left on top, makes it look like he has a fauxhawk (especially with his hair rampantly erect). he said that he looked like the rockabilly guy on "guitar hero II," but i explained the difference between a pompadour and a fauxhawk.
maybe we'll spike it and dye it green...
* do you really think it makes me feel any better to have you people look at my belly profile and say "wow" in a voice tinged with terror and sympathy? or to express horror when i tell you my due date is 7 weeks off? or to ask me if the doctor is sure that there is only one in there? and do you really think i haven't heard any of this before? i'm only five foot, and the baby is measuring huge -- it's not like i can sublet extra space here, and you're not helping.
* okay, beeyotch, i want to support the church as much as anyone, but do you really think that refusing to meet anywhere but at my house, even when i offer to drop off my pledge form while i'm out running errands, or offer to meet at a coffee house where you and i don't have to worry about stepping on spilled cereal and legos, and apparently hearing nothing but the words "my house" and "3pm," is going to endear me to you? so take the damn pledge form (good thing i'm not petty enough to reduce the pledge due to your idiocy) and leave my doorstep. and, by the way, we lived in a townhouse, not a semi-detached house, despite what you think, and this isn't a starter house for us (and why do you need to know whether we've had a mortgage before, anyway? just because we're younger than you doesn't mean we're naive and inexperienced).
* hey, lady, i'm not surprised your kid has a broken arm, if he and his brother rough-house in the middle of the aisles of the grocery store. but is it too much to ask you to get them out of the way so that the preggo lady can get by without fear of injury or spontaneous labor due to being trampled or elbowed?
* listen, folks: object permanence DOES exist with my hair (even if you can't see it, it's still there -- didn't you learn this as a baby?); just because i've pulled it back into a ponytail doesn't mean i've cut it off, so stop asking. what confuses you so about this? is it that you didn't think that curly hair could be worn in a ponytail (although i admit that it does more resemble a poodle-tail)? is it that you think that only cute perky white chicks have ponytails? get over it!
* yo, PTA lady, if someone is in the PTA looking like they are expecting assistance, and you've never seen them before, it's considered polite to ask "can i help you" right when you see them, not after you've puttered around the office for five minutes. and when, after they have been assisted, they say "thank you" and "goodbye," common courtesy expects you to give some kind of greeting, whether or not you're obsessing about muffins for the jog-a-thon.
