1 post tagged “recession”

I read an article today in the LA Times about the trickle-down effects of the recession, and it started me thinking about how this whole thing is affecting me personally.

It isn't just the fact that there are fewer jobs to be had, or the fact that my hours at my current job were reduced from 21 hours to 8.5 (this, in addition to the fact that I didn't get the full-time position I thought was all but mine, were a double-whammy to my psyche that I have yet to recover from).

It's things like feeling guilty for having food sensitivities that require special expensive food (and refusing to shop for those special things at Whole Foods in order to save money). It's having to decide whether your baby can continue going to childcare/preschool, because even though he is benefiting from the instruction and socialization, it costs money. It's trying to figure out if your son will still do well in school if you pull him out of educational therapy, and how soon is too soon to stop paying for sessions. It's making do with 5-year old clothing for work, despite how unflattering the styles are. It's twisting your ankle in shoes with worn-out heels, because replacement shoes cost too much. It's putting up with gray hairs and 10-month-old highlights and split ends because you can't afford to go to the salon. It's going on antidepressants because it's cheaper than therapy. It's having a Master's degree and applying for nonexistent retail positions.

It's doubting your worth. And this doubt cripples you, making it near impossible to even think about trying to find something, anything, that will bring in money. And you can't make decisions about what to do, and you're stuck fast in your own terror and doubt and despair. And you can't find a way out.

Let's just call it what it is -- a depression, of the economy, of the soul.